Stuff I Read On Craigslist

He's a Genius!

This guy has inspired me. I'm going to open up my very own "hysteria treatment" clinic.  But I swear I'm just "practicing for Burning Man."

Free Trimming, Shaving, Dyeing, Pampering as part of Burning Man prjct

Date: 2009-12-13, 3:27PM

I need volunteers for this project who want personal attention, patience, and the kind of pampering that I've been providing to my patrons this past year. At Burning Man I inherited the "Pampered Pussy Lounge" - a service that provides free, personal grooming in a mellow, non-clinical style. Before this past year I had plied my skill in these areas only with my partners, but my friend who had been operating the "Pampered Pussy Lounge" had to take a break, and when the women continued to show up, I got called into service. I spread my wings and was a busy boy at The Burn and the San Francisco Decompression. I did trims, pattern shavings (including an American Star pattern that was pretty sweet, if I do say so myself), clean-shavings, hand-washings, and dyeings.

To prepare for the next Burn, I need to practice, practice, practice. The services I'm looking to practice include trimming, shaving, waxing, dyeing, hand-washing, and 19th-century treatment for hysteria. I don't care if you prefer a “full” hair style or the clean-shaven look. There are plenty of options for pampering if you want to participate. I'm happy to render my services in private or in a more public venue. As you can imagine, we needed to make the operation very portable to be able to tend to our people on the playa and at our tent at the San Francisco Decompression.

So any women who want to support my project and get pampered in the process, shoot me a note! If you're a Burner yourself, so much the better, though it's certainly not at all required.

When you reply, please include the phrase "Pampered Pussy Lounge" in the subject so that I know you read this post. :-)

Ciao,

XXXXXX

Original URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/stp/1508645771.html

If I Wasn't Married ...

 I'd take this guy up on his offer:

Female Blogger

Date: 2009-11-23, 3:27PM

... I've kind of been doing this little social experiment/website/blog/what have you. It's called 100 girls, 100 days. Basically a bad breakup, and deciding to play the field a little bit has made me want to try the whole idea of trying to date/go out with/have situations with 100 girls over the course of 100 days. The story so far can be found at http://100girls100days.com

I am not spam, I am 100% a real NYer trying this experiment. And I had the idea that since I am a blogger trying something like this, there are probably female bloggers out there wanting to write about similiar experiences, so I was hoping to find a 20-something blogger from the area to maybe go out on a date with me knowing full-well about the site, and guest blog on the site. I wanted to do something different, and break the format of my site a little bit, and thought this would be a cool little idea.

Compensation: no pay
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/wrg/1479242728.html

Calling All Farmers in Greenwich Village!

Someone needs to tell this person that it's 2009, not 1809.

Aged horse or cow manure

Date: 2009-11-02, 5:59PM

I am looking for aged manure. I see a post on here for free horse manure but its all the way in long island and I have no way to get there. If anyone in Brooklyn or lower Manhattan has some please let me know.

Location: Brooklyn
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/wan/1448670200.html

Uh-Oh!

If only this person could make dresses out of curtains:

Worry beads

Date: 2009-10-12, 6:23PM

Hi, 

I need some worry beads. ... I have stopped drinking and smoking and need worry beads i have been doing it with my keys but they  keep falling off. Thanks. Hopefuly you live near a bus stop .... Thank you very much indeed. I am not religious but appreciate all religions and peaceful philosophys. Thank you. 

Thank you 

again thank you:) 

Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/wan/1418786658.html

F*ck Off, I Say (And So Do I!)

This writer needs help from a schizophrenic to mold a character. Unfortunately, he's under the false impression that schizophrenics aren't only desperately in need of someone who will pay attention to them, but also that they're thirsty and stupid. 

I'm not saying that the writer has to pay his interview subject thousands of dollars, but he should offer more than a cup of coffee. Even lab rats are fed, for crying out loud.

Need input from schizophrenic for development of character

Date: 2009-09-17, 3:36AM

I am in need of contact with someone who has been diagnosed and lives with schizophrenia, preferably of the paranoid subtype. I am seeking to write a character who suffers with this issue ... My goal is to attempt to portray the affliction and the person accurately, not in an exaggerated, comedic or fearmongering way. Prefer those who have experienced treatment ... (successful or otherwise). Will pay with a cup of coffee and an attentive ear. 

• Compensation: A cup of good coffee (Magnolia, Spiderhouse or Kerbey Lane preferred)
Original URL: http://austin.craigslist.org/wrg/1378549494.html

Don't Laugh. He Probably Got A Few Hundred Responses.

Artist seeks people

Date: 2009-09-18, 11:06PM

Please send me a photograph of yourself. 

• Compensation: no pay
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/crg/1381666561.html

Kanye, Is That You?

Are the people on the "Kanye West Sucks" Facebook page this mad? 

Bullet proof glass wanted

Date: 2009-09-17, 10:36AM

Looking for bullet proof glass. Willing to dismantle existing setup. 

Please call ...

• Location: PA, area

Original URL: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/wan/1378792233.html